happy things

1.  husband said he doesn't think anyone could be as happy as we are right now.

i agree.
we are both loving his new job.

 

2a.  bo christian is saying "mumma".
my heart melts.

2b.  he was screaming (not crying, screaming) because he wanted out of his crib.

i only wanted to dry my hair with out him playing in the toilet, eating trash, unrolling toilet paper...

when i picked him up, he laid his head on my shoulder and said,"mumma, mumma, mumma".

3.  i like roses.
i have a black thumb - not a green one.
we bought 2 rose bushes off of a clearance rack since we knew they would probably die.
they have lived all summer long.
they look pretty inside my house.

4.  us at sonic late one night.
i had just ran for the first time in 5 months.
i felt so good.  very slow, but good.
and look at those 2 cute photo bombs behind us.



5.  bauer and i went to see STOMP.
bauer said over and over "this is cool".
i was entertained for 2 hours without musical instruments or people talking.
those people made music with junk!
it was really neat.

mommy guilt

bronson is playing soccer this fall.

husband took him to his first practice.

a neighbor has taken him once - she has a son on the same team.

my mom has taken him once - thanks mom!

i have dropped him off and left bauer to watch him a couple of times.

and i have been to very few of his practices.

 

his practice begins and 30 minutes later caden has practice across town.

i can't figure out how to be at both places at the same time.
 

i was taking pictures of him the other night.

the baby wanted the camera.

connor wanted my attention.

i was ignoring both of them.
their behavior was getting bad and i was frustrated.

 

 

then i realized the real problem.

it was me.

 

i feel guilty for not being at more of bronson's practices.
i feel guilty for not being at more of bauer and caden's practices.

i guess i thought taking pictures of bronson and ignoring my 2 babies would make it all better.
wrong.
 

right now my big 3 are getting the bad end of the deal.

i've asked myself if i would do it all again.

 

yes.  yes, i would.

i want their sports to be for them.

i want them to play for themselves.
 

 i think having brothers and being able to play their sport is more of a gift
than having a mother that watches each one of their practices. 

   

 

and why, when i realize the guilt and can think through it,

i don't feel guilty anymore?

 

*some how, i have made it to all of connor's practices.

he's told me before that it is all about him.

guess he is right this one time.*

morning drop offs

first is the elementary school.

 

as bronson and connor are running into the school, i am yelling:

 

have a great day - make good choices - love you both.

 

they never look back and honestly, they probably never even hear me.

 

the other morning after they were in the school i turned to look at bauer.  i was waiting on him to close the door.
with a straight face he said, "just making sure you are finished."

smarty pants.

 

second is the middle school.

 

bauer and caden will not dare open their doors until i've said my spill:

 

have a great day - make good choices - love you both.

 

and then one will say, "are you done?"

 

(sometimes they even make me promise.  one time i forgot to tell them something and i yelled out the window to them after they were walking away.  they said something about embarrassing.)

after all that, they open their doors to jump out quickly as possible and slam those doors fast as they can.  they even walk away really fast.

every day i laugh to myself.
since i can't yell that i love them, i wonder what would happen if i yelled:
hate you both.
i should.  just to see their face expressions.

bath time

husband does it different.

a big baby in a tiny sink.

 

but, i think the baby likes it.

 

 

question/answer

question:

what do you get when a big brother practices his wheelies?

 

 

answer: 

you get a baby brother that spontaneously claps for the first time.

 

 

7:41 sunday night